Chapter 17
Cadets of Temperance (1850)
I joined the local branch of the Cadets of Temperance in 1850 and briefly gave up the use of tobacco. Although only fourteen years of age at the time, I had already become an inveterate user of the product. That was common for the place and the time. In fact, an embarrassing episode occurred in connection with this where I was made a figure of ridicule by a fellow classmate. This was on the occasion of my inaugural visit to the school. A strapping girl of fifteen, in the customary sunbonnet and calico dress of the day, asked me if I “used tobacco”—meaning did I chew it. I said no. It roused her scorn. She reported me to all the crowd and said:
“Here is a boy six years old who can’t chaw tobacco.”
By the looks and comments which this produced I realized that I was a degraded object; I was cruelly ashamed of myself. I determined to reform. But I only made myself sick; I was not able to learn to chew tobacco. I learned to smoke fairly well but that did not conciliate anybody and I remained a poor thing and characterless. I longed to be respected but I never was able to rise. Children have but little charity for one another’s defects.
But to return to my subject, although the Cadets of Temperance was an organization whose purpose consisted of a pledge to refrain, during membership, from the use of tobacco, alcohol, vigorous language, and the smouching of watermelons, that oath was only part of what constituted affiliation with the club—members were also afforded the right to wear a gaudy red merino sash. From my vantage point, swelling around in parades and other civic functions thus arrayed was the main part and the only real advantage of the thing.
It may surprise some ignorant persons, but I am still an ardent supporter of temperance. In fact, I firmly hold to the tenet that total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
EDITOR’S NOTES: The Independent Order of the Cadets of Temperance was an organization promoting temperance whose target membership was males between the ages of 12 and 18.
Much of what Twain wrote in his fiction was based on his actual experiences. As an example, in “Tom Sawyer,” the titular character joins the Cadets of Temperance in order to “show off,” but his alliance with them is brief, as described at the start of chapter 22:
Tom joined the new order of Cadets of Temperance, being attracted by the showy character of their “regalia.” He promised to abstain from smoking, chewing, and profanity as long as he remained a member. Now he found out a new thing—namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing. Tom soon found himself tormented with a desire to drink and swear; the desire grew to be so intense that nothing but the hope of a chance to display himself in his red sash kept him from withdrawing from the order. Fourth of July was coming; but he soon gave that up—gave it up before he had worn his shackles over forty-eight hours—and fixed his hopes upon old Judge Frazer, justice of the peace, who was apparently on his deathbed and would have a big public funeral, since he was so high an official. During three days Tom was deeply concerned about the Judge’s condition and hungry for news of it. Sometimes his hopes ran high—so high that he would venture to get out his regalia and practice before the looking-glass. But the Judge had a most discouraging way of fluctuating. At last he was pronounced upon the mend—and then convalescent. Tom was disgusted; and felt a sense of injury, too. He handed in his resignation at once—and that night the Judge suffered a relapse and died. Tom resolved that he would never trust a man like that again.
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In 1850, Twain left his apprenticeship with Ament to work for his brother Orion on a paper he started up in Hannibal on returning there from St. Louis.
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