Grocery Shopping Is More Complicated Than You Think

You Need To Have Millions of items On Your List

Why do I have three hands but only two arms?

“Millions” might be a slight exaggeration, but, although I’m pretty much a creature of habit in what I cook (now that I’m retired, I’ve become the house cook/chef, grocery shopper, and kitchen cleaner-upper), and I only prepare maybe a dozen or so dishes, I still have a shopping list with gobs and oodles of items on them.

Full Disclosure: I did a quick count of the number of items below, and it’s right around 170; so, it’s roughly 1/6000th of a million — still a lot, though, right?

I don’t hate shopping, but I do hate spending more time in mundane activities (such as shopping) than I have to. So I try to be as efficient (time-wise) as possible. I do this by having a shopping list. Well, there’s nothing novel about that tactic, is there? — except that I use the same list every time. It has everything I ever buy on it, and the items I need that week are starred (*). Before I head out on my shopping quest, I append the stars to the items we need in the coming week, while removing last week’s stars from items we won’t need (or need more of) during the coming week.

Handier yet, my list is ordered by the location of the items in the store (which, in my case is the Dangerway at the “Three Corners” (known to more boring normal folks as the Safeway located at the junction of Monterey, Seaside, and Del Rey Oaks).

Entering the store at the south entrance (the Monterey side, not the Del Rey Oaks side), I’ve given the various sections of the store a random number, and use the following list:

0 PRE-AISLE AREA) Cashews
Pistachios

1 FRUITS, VEGETABLES, NUTS) Apples 🍏

Oranges 🍊

Mandarins

Bag Salads*

Spring mix*

Tomato 🍅

Lemon🍋 *

Lime *

Sprouts

Cabbage

Lettuce 🥬

Whole Carrots

Shredded carrots 🥕

Celery

Bell peppers 🫑

Green onions*

Radish

Cucumber 🥒*

Sunflower seeds

Garlic 🧄

Peanuts 🥜

Red Onions 🧅

Yellow onions*

Russet Spuds 🥔

Raisins

Bananas* 🍌

2 DAIRY) Butter 🧈 *
Sour cream
Cottage cheese
Eggs 🥚
Milk 🥛
Half & half
Whipped cream
Buttermilk

3 YOGURT/CHEESEVILLE) Pie shells

Frozen bread dough*

Kefir (2)*

G[r]eek Yogurt*

Cheddar Cheese

Pepper Jack cheese*

4 BREAD, &C) Sourdough Bread
English muffins
Simply Granola cereal
Peanut butter

5 CANNED STUFF, CONDIMENTS, JUICE, SOUP) Pineapple slices*

Olives 🫒 *

Sweet pickles

bread and butter pickles

Dill pickles

Mayonnaise*

Yellow Mustard

Dijon mustard

Catsup

Cranberry juice*

Grapefruit juice*

V8

Soup

Distilled White Vinegar

Tuna

6 MEXICAN AND PANTRY ITEMS) Tortillas*

Jalapeños

Hot sauce

Nacho cheese sauce

Enchilada sauce

Refried beans

Mexican rice*

Corned beef hash*

Garbanzo beans

Corn (Sweet)*

Green beans (French)

Macaroni salad noodles (Ditalini)

Chili*

Kidney beans

7 SPICES and BAKING and KITCHEN) Salt 🧂

Pepper

Cayenne pepper 🌶️

Chili powder

Cilantro seed

Cinnamon

Cloves

Cumin

Ginger

Garlic Powder

Minced Onion

Italian seasoning

Oregano

Sage

Rosemary

Thyme

Butterscotch chips*

Semi-sweet chocolate chips

Evaporated milk

Eagle sweetened condensed milk*

Caramel bits

Walnuts

Aluminum foil

Wax paper

Arrowroot or cornstarch

Garbage bags

Quart bags

Gallon bags

Sandwich bags

Quaker Oats

Hot chocolate powder

Vanilla

Sugar*

Brown sugar

powdered sugar

Shortening

Molasses

Honey 🍯

Flour

Baking soda

Pumpkin pie puree

Stuffing

Panko bread crumbs

Beef broth

Maple syrup

Grape-seed oil

Olive oil

Balsamic Vinegar

Agave nectar (amber)

8 ORAL HYGIENE &c) Mouthwash

Toothpaste

Toothbrushes

Flossers

Advil liquid gels

9 BATHROOM STUFF) Shampoo

Hairspray

Razors

Goop

Body wash (Irish Spring)

10 PAPER and CLEANSERS) Toilet paper*

Paper towels

Deodorant

Deodorizer spray

Dish soap

Qtips

11 FROZEN #1) Tater tots

Ice cream

Burritos 🌯

Frozen pizza*

12 FROZEN #2 — DESSERT, MEAT, COOKIES, CRACKERS) Cheesecake

Frozen Berries

Bacon 🥓

Baloney

Cookies 🍪

Water crackers

13 MEAT) Hamburger *

Skirt steak

Pork chops*

14 SMOOTHIE LUBRICANT) Coconut water*

15 CANDY) York patties*

16 CHIPS, POPCORN, &c) Ruffles

Box of chips*

Nacho Chips

Fritos (taco salad)

Sour cream and onion dip

Tostitos

Popcorn 🍿

Dry salami

17 BOOZE and MORE) Ciabatta rolls

Beer 🍺

Wine 🍷

Spud salad

Guac

Breakfast Sausage

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You, of course, will use a different list, but if you shop at a like-laid-out Dangerway, you might find the above list handy as a starting point (just copy-and-paste it into a doc or text file).

By “signing up” to Safeway’s customer program (or whatever they call it), you can save a significant amount of bread (IOW, $$) on your bread and/or other grocery items. I estimate that I save between $500 and $1,000 annually by using this “club membership” and buying the store brand (“Signature”) where possible (YMMV). I find Signature is as good or better than the name brands in almost every item, so it’s a win-win situation.

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