SERIALIZATION OF “the Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle” – Chapter 61 of 61 (LAST)
Warble Bribes Mary with Begonias and Agrees to Travel Into the Future
Chapter 61 (LAST)
Warble Bribes Mary with Begonias and Agrees to Travel Into the Future
“Hold your horses!” Comfy says, holding up an arm in a gesture that looks like a policeman indicating to pedestrians that they should not proceed into the crosswalk yet, or if they have already done so, to stop and go back to the sidewalk or median behind them and wait patiently until he gives them the “go ahead” signal. Actually, to some Comfy's gesture may remind them of the “Heil Hitler” salute, but that image is so contradictory and contrary to what's really going on here that any one who would think of it is probably overdue to take their mind in to their shrink's office for some maintenance work.
"Wait, Mary! It can go forward, too, you know!" Comfy informs her, grasping at straws, not knowing just what Mary's problem is.
"You mean, into the future?" Mary inquires, hammer suspended in mid-air over her head.
“That's exactly what I mean,” Comfy sighs, sensing he 'hit the jackpot,' relieved that Mary didn't break up the sole prototype of the Arodnap—his boss, B.O. Wulf, would've had his head on a platter had he allowed it to get damaged, let alone smashed to smithereens by a hammer-wielding housewife.
“It hasn't been fully tested yet, but if you're willing to try it, then so am I. Please, put the hammer down, Mary,” Comfy pleads.
“Yeah, Mary, what are you thinkin'?” Warble adds. “Do you know how much this contraption costs? 'You break it, you bought it.' After you got done paying for this marvel, you wouldn't be able to afford begonias for the rest of your born days!”
“Warble...honey?” Mary begins. “Will you do me a big favor?”
“Well, as long as it's not something really hard, or gross like clipping your toenails, or something like that,” Warble responds warily.
“Oh, it's something easy,” Mary says, and then fixes Warble with her 'you'd better really listen or you've had it, buster' look. She walks up to Warble and whispers in his ear: “Instead of test-driving into the past, let's go into the future.”
Warble considers Mary's request for a few seconds (3.14, to be exact). “Well, OK, if you insist, Mary. I don't know why you're so selfish and stubborn about it, though.”
Warble pulls the same trick as before (getting Comfy and Albert to look behind them).
But this time, there is one key difference: When Warble quickly enters the data into the GPS/CPS it is:
Location: Zenia, California
Date: June 22nd, 2124
Warble presses the ignition switch. The Arodnap hums to life. He turns his head and asks if all are aboard and ready for departure.
“Aye, aye, captain!” they respond, in unison. Warble hates that. He winces, pulls the throttle back, and away they fly, slipping the surly bonds of earth, into the wild blue yonder, and into the future. But that's a tale for another time.
Soundtrack note: “What's Going On?” by Taste
~~~~~~~ UND DAMIT BASTA (FINIS, EL FINITO, THE BITTER END &C) ~~~~~~~~
Blackbird Crow Raven’s “the Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle” is available in its entirety here.
You can listen to the recording of this excerpt, by the author’s alter ego, here: