SERIALIZATION OF “the Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle” – Chapter 13 of 61
From Puppy Love to Dog Daze
CHAPTER 13
From Puppy Love to Dog Daze
“Holy Mexican sauce and Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!” Warble exclaims. “What’s happened to Taterskin?!”
A general hubbub ensues.
“WHAT HAPPENED TO MY PUPPY?!” Albert adds to the din, after he’s finally able to--with the aid of Mullah pulling while he pushes--get the huge dog off his lap.
Taterskin has changed from a puppy into a full-grown dog somewhere between Oconomowoc, Wisconsin and Cooperstown, New York, some time between 2024 and 1992.
“I told you this thing was just a prototype, Consumer Warble!” Comfy scolds. “We shouldn’t have come here. We shouldn’t have gone anywhere but to the Ed Sullivan show to see...”
“I know, I know,” Warble finishes his sentence, “We should’ve gone to see Elvis Costello, or Elvin Bishop or whoever, on the Conan the Barbarian show.
Soundtrack note: Play “Fooled Around & Fell in Love” by Elvin Bishop
“Butt what the hey, so the puppy is now a dog—stuffing happens, as my old friend Hugh Geauxgurl always says. Besides, Albert is the mechanic—don’t look at me,” Warble says, shifting the blame. “He must have forgotten to tighten a bolt here or twist in a screw there or something.”
Warble doesn’t really care what size the canine is. But then again, he’s not the one who has to squeeze into the back seat (which was designed to carry three adults) with that number of people plus an additional very large dog.
At least none of the people have been altered, or not in a way that is obvious at a cursory glance. Concluding that all is well, Warble feels justified in playing his trick and making his little detour. “So,” he says, “This proves once again that the customer is always right. I will gladly pay you next Tuesday, Comfy, for the use of the Arodnap today.”
Comfy throws up his hands. “All right then, Consumer Warble. If you’re definitely going to buy it, then I guess I can’t interfere with your little joy ride.”
“This is no joy ride, Comfy,” Warble informs the salesman. “We are out to save the world, preserve the American whey, and make the globe safe for commerce, and the world safe for globalization.”
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Blackbird Crow Raven’s “the Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle” is being serialized in this space each Sunday and Thursday; it is also available in its entirety from here.
You can listen to the recording of this excerpt, by the author, here: