SERIALIZATION OF “the Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle” – Chapter 41 of 61
Warble Helps Custer Win the Battle Against Mad Cow and Become President
CHAPTER 41
Warble Helps Custer Win the Battle Against Mad Cow and Become President
We don't want to give anybody any crazy ideas that they might use at home to wake snakes (raise a ruckus) or frame trouble by decree (use legal trickeration), so we won't divulge just what Warble did to turn the tide at the Battle of Greasy Grass/Custer's Last Stand.
Suffice it to say, future generations now refer to the engagement as Little Bighorn/Custer's Second-Finest Hour (his finest being his inauguration day, when he became President and wowed the crowd with his flowing locks and dashing debonair demeanor and derring do, not to mention his flashy duds and flamboyant horsemanship).
The following incident in the battle may be worth mentioning, though, after all: the Indian leader Mad Cow casually remarked during the thick of the fight, "Et tu, Dustbin?" after being—literally--stabbed in the back. Going by the nom de guerre 'Little Big Man,' and pretending to be for the Indians but really being on the cowboys' side--I mean the soldiers' side (once the tide turned, anyway), Dustbin Hoffman proved to be a star of the Little Bighorn/Custer's Second-Finest Hour.
Standing like a stone wall on the ridge, egging his partners on, then dashing around shooting apples off Garry Owens' head (no relation to the Garryowen of the aforementioned song), Hoffman cut quite the figure that day.
Despite serving as target practice, though, Owens didn't die—in fact, he went on to become the first guinea pig to benefit from cryonics, and when he was brought back to life a century later (without his brain, which he didn't really need) he became a “reality” television star, changing his name to Donald T. Rump.
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Blackbird Crow Raven’s “the Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle” is being serialized in this space each Sunday and Thursday; it is also available in its entirety from here.
You can listen to the recording of this excerpt, by the author’s alter ego, here: