Sundays with Mark Twain — (1886-1889, Including Excerpts from “A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT”)
Sundays with Mark Twain #92
1886
1886.1.659) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: There are those who imagine that the unlucky accidents of life - life’s “experiences” - are in some way useful to us. I wish I could find out how. I never knew one of them to happen twice. They always change off and swap around and catch you on your inexperienced side. If personal experience can be worth anything as an education, it wouldn’t seem likely that you could trip Methuselah; and yet if that old person could come back here it is more than likely that one of the first things he would do would be to take hold of one of these electric wires and tie himself all up in a knot. Now the surer thing and the wiser thing would be for him to ask somebody whether it was a good thing to take hold of. But that would not suit him; he would be one of the self-taught kind that go by experience; he would want to examine for himself. And he would find, for his instruction, that the coiled patriarch shuns the electric wire; and it would be useful to him, too, and would leave his education in quite a complete and rounded-out condition, till he should come again, some day, and go to bouncing a dynamite-can around to find out what was in it.
Scripture: And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died. – Genesis 5:27
Work; Date: Taming the Bicycle; c. 1886
Source: http://www.bicyclinglife.com/HowTo/TamingTheBicycle.htm
1886.2.660) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: For a greater than any king has arisen upon this the only soil in this world that is truly sacred to liberty; and you that have eyes to see and ears to hear may catch the sheen of his banners and the tramp of his marching hosts;
Scripture: For this people’s heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them. But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear. For verily I say unto you, That many prophets and righteous men have desired to see those things which ye see, and have not seen them; and to hear those things which ye hear, and have not heard them. -- Matthew 13:15-17
Work; Date: The New Dynasty; March 22, 1886
Source: Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays 1852-1890
1887
1887.1.661,662) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: One of my unfinished books has been on the stocks sixteen years; another seventeen. This latter book could have been finished in a day, at any time during the past five years. But as in the first of these two narratives all the action takes place in Noah’s ark, and as in the other the action takes place in heaven, there seemed to be no hurry, and so I have not hurried. Tales of stirring adventure in those localities do not need to be rushed to publication lest they get stale by waiting.
Scripture: And the LORD said unto Noah, Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee have I seen righteous before me in this generation. -- Genesis 7:1
Scripture: The heaven, even the heavens, are the LORD’S: but the earth hath he given to the children of men. -- Psalm 115:16
Work; Date: (unmailed) letter to Jeannette Gilder; May 14, 1887
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/3196/3196-h/3196-h.htm
1887.2.663) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: So long as he is loyal to his best self, what should he care for other loyalties? It seems to me that a man should secure the Well done, faithful servant, of his own conscience first and foremost, and let all other loyalties go.”
Scripture: His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. -- Matthew 25:23
Work; Date: Consistency; December 2, 1887
Source: Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays 1852-1890
1887.3.664) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: Now then, supposing it is not a granger gathering at all, but is a wedding breakfast; now, of course, that speech has got to be delivered in an airy, light fashion, but it must terminate seriously. It is a mistake to make it any other way. This person is called up by the minister of the feast and he says: “I am called up suddenly, sir, and am, indeed, not prepared to—to--I was not expecting to be called up, sir, but I will, with what effect I may, add my shout to the jubilations of this spirit-stirring occasion. Matrimony, sir, is after, that palladium of our domestic liberties.
Scripture: When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,” -- John 2:9
Work; Date: Post-Prandial Oratory; December 20, 1887
Source: https://books.google.com/books?id=mkFgXWvUkVoC&pg=PA230&lpg=PA230&dq
1888
1888.1.665) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: They’ve got to talk German when they come, haven’t they? Of course. Well, they don’t know any German but Wie befinden Sie sich, and Haben Sie gut geschlafen, and Vater unser, and Ich trinke lieber Bier als Wasser, and a few little parlour things like that;
Scripture: And it came to pass, that, as he was praying in a certain place, when he ceased, one of his disciples said unto him, Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples. And he said unto them, When ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth. – Luke 11:1,2 [the beginning of the “Vater Unser” (“Our Father”) prayer]
Work; Date: Meisterschaft: In Three Acts; 1888
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/3251/3251-h/3251-h.htm
1889
1889.1.666) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: The critic assumes, every time, that if a book doesn’t meet the cultivated-class standard, it isn’t valuable. Let us apply his law all around: for if it is sound in the case of novels, narratives, pictures, and such things, it is certainly sound and applicable to all the steps which lead up to culture and make culture possible. It condemns the spelling book, for a spelling book is of no use to a person of culture; it condemns all school books and all schools which lie between the child’s primer and Greek, and between the infant school and the university; it condemns all the rounds of art which lie between the cheap terra cotta groups and the Venus de Medici, and between the chromo and the Transfiguration; it requires Whitcomb Riley to sing no more till he can sing like Shakespeare, and it forbids all amateur music and will grant its sanction to nothing below the “classic.”
Scripture: And after six days Jesus taketh Peter, James, and John his brother, and bringeth them up into an high mountain apart, And was transfigured before them: and his face did shine as the sun, and his raiment was white as the light. -- Matthew 17:1,2
Work; Date: Letter to Andrew Lang; 1889
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/3196/3196-h/3196-h.htm
Excerpts from “A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT”
1889.2.667) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: What a jump I had made! I couldn’t keep from thinking about it, and contemplating it, just as one does who has struck oil. There was nothing back of me that could approach it, unless it might be Joseph’s case; and Joseph’s only approached it, it didn’t equal it, quite. For it stands to reason that as Joseph’s splendid financial ingenuities advantaged nobody but the king, the general public must have regarded him with a good deal of disfavor, whereas I had done my entire public a kindness in sparing the sun, and was popular by reason of it.
Scripture: And Joseph said unto Pharaoh, The dream of Pharaoh is one: God hath shewed Pharaoh what he is about to do. The seven good kine are seven years; and the seven good ears are seven years: the dream is one. And the seven thin and ill favoured kine that came up after them are seven years; and the seven empty ears blasted with the east wind shall be seven years of famine. This is the thing which I have spoken unto Pharaoh: What God is about to do he sheweth unto Pharaoh. Behold, there come seven years of great plenty throughout all the land of Egypt: And there shall arise after them seven years of famine; and all the plenty shall be forgotten in the land of Egypt; and the famine shall consume the land; And the plenty shall not be known in the land by reason of that famine following; for it shall be very grievous. And for that the dream was doubled unto Pharaoh twice; it is because the thing is established by God, and God will shortly bring it to pass. Now therefore let Pharaoh look out a man discreet and wise, and set him over the land of Egypt. Let Pharaoh do this, and let him appoint officers over the land, and take up the fifth part of the land of Egypt in the seven plenteous years. And let them gather all the food of those good years that come, and lay up corn under the hand of Pharaoh, and let them keep food in the cities. And that food shall be for store to the land against the seven years of famine, which shall be in the land of Egypt; that the land perish not through the famine. And the thing was good in the eyes of Pharaoh, and in the eyes of all his servants. And Pharaoh said unto his servants, Can we find such a one as this is, a man in whom the Spirit of God is? And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, Forasmuch as God hath shewed thee all this, there is none so discreet and wise as thou art: Thou shalt be over my house, and according unto thy word shall all my people be ruled: only in the throne will I be greater than thou. – Genesis 41:25-40
Work; Date: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, Chapter 8; 1889
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/86/86-h/86-h.htm
1889.3.668) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: There you see the hand of that awful power, the Roman Catholic Church. In two or three little centuries it had converted a nation of men to a nation of worms. Before the day of the Church’s supremacy in the world, men were men, and held their heads up, and had a man’s pride and spirit and independence; and what of greatness and position a person got, he got mainly by achievement, not by birth. But then the Church came to the front, with an axe to grind; and she was wise, subtle, and knew more than one way to skin a cat—or a nation; she invented “divine right of kings,” and propped it all around, brick by brick, with the Beatitudes—wrenching them from their good purpose to make them fortify an evil one; she preached (to the commoner) humility, obedience to superiors, the beauty of self-sacrifice; she preached (to the commoner) meekness under insult; preached (still to the commoner, always to the commoner) patience, meanness of spirit, non-resistance under oppression; and she introduced heritable ranks and aristocracies, and taught all the Christian populations of the earth to bow down to them and worship them.
Scripture: Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. – Matthew 5:3-11
Work; Date: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, Chapter 8; 1889
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/86/86-h/86-h.htm
1889.4.669) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: In my experience boys are the same in all ages. They don’t respect anything, they don’t care for anything or anybody. They say “Go up, baldhead” to the prophet going his unoffending way in the gray of antiquity; they sass me in the holy gloom of the Middle Ages; and I had seen them act the same way in Buchanan’s administration; I remember, because I was there and helped. The prophet had his bears and settled with his boys; and I wanted to get down and settle with mine, but it wouldn’t answer, because I couldn’t have got up again.
Scripture: And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them. – 2 Kings 2:23,24
Work; Date: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, Chapter 11; 1889
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/86/86-h/86-h.htm
1889.5.670) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: I made up my mind that I would carry along a reticule next time, let it look how it might, and people say what they would. Of course these iron dudes of the Round Table would think it was scandalous, and maybe raise Sheol about it, but as for me, give me comfort first, and style afterwards.
Scripture: Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do [it] with thy might; for [there is] no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest. – Ecclesiastes 9:10
Work; Date: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, Chapter 12; 1889
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/86/86-h/86-h.htm
1889.6.671) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: Whenever my missionaries overcame a knight errant on the road they washed him, and when he got well they swore him to go and get a bulletin-board and disseminate soap and civilization the rest of his days. As a consequence the workers in the field were increasing by degrees, and the reform was steadily spreading.
Scripture: “Therefore said he unto them, The harvest truly is great, but the labourers are few: pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he would send forth labourers into his harvest. – Luke 10:2
Work; Date: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, Chapter 16; 1889
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/86/86-h/86-h.htm
1889.7.672) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: This missionary knight’s name was La Cote Male Taile, and he said that this castle was the abode of Morgan le Fay, sister of King Arthur, and wife of King Uriens, monarch of a realm about as big as the District of Columbia—you could stand in the middle of it and throw bricks into the next kingdom. “Kings” and “Kingdoms” were as thick in Britain as they had been in little Palestine in Joshua’s time, when people had to sleep with their knees pulled up because they couldn’t stretch out without a passport.
Scripture: Now these are the kings of the land, which the children of Israel smote, and possessed their land on the other side Jordan toward the rising of the sun, from the river Arnon unto mount Hermon, and all the plain on the east: Sihon king of the Amorites, who dwelt in Heshbon, and ruled from Aroer, which is upon the bank of the river Arnon, and from the middle of the river, and from half Gilead, even unto the river Jabbok, which is the border of the children of Ammon; ... In the mountains, and in the valleys, and in the plains, and in the springs, and in the wilderness, and in the south country; the Hittites, the Amorites, and the Canaanites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites: ... The king of Tirzah, one: all the kings thirty and one. – Joshua 12:1,2,8,24
Work; Date: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, Chapter 16; 1889
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/86/86-h/86-h.htm
1889.8.673) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: The prayers that did begin then, and the lamentations in sackcloth and ashes, and the holy processions, none of these have ceased nor night nor day; and so the monks and the nuns and the foundlings be all exhausted, and do hang up prayers writ upon parchment, sith that no strength is left in man to lift up voice.
Scripture: O daughter of my people, gird thee with sackcloth, and wallow thyself in ashes: make thee mourning, as for an only son, most bitter lamentation: for the spoiler shall suddenly come upon us. -- Jeremiah 6:26
Work; Date: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, Chapter 21; 1889
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/86/86-h/86-h.htm
