Sundays with Mark Twain — (1905)
Sundays with Mark Twain #97
1905
1905.1.819,820) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: It is quite likely that the biggest dinosaur was ninety feet long and twenty feet high. It would be five times as long as an elephant; an elephant would be to it what a calf is to an elephant. The bulk of the creature! The weight of him! As long as the longest whale, and twice the substance in him! And all good wholesome pork, most likely; meat enough to last a village a year … Think of a hundred of them in line, draped in shining cloth of gold!—a majestic thing for a coronation procession. But expensive, for he would eat much; only kings and millionaires could afford him.
I have no recollection of him; neither Eve nor I had heard of him until yesterday. We spoke to Noah about him; he colored and changed the subject. Being brought back to it—and pressed a little—he confessed that in the matter of stocking the Ark the stipulations had not been carried out with absolute strictness—that is, in minor details, unessentials. There were some irregularities.
Scripture: And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female. -- Genesis 6:19
Scripture: Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he. -- Genesis 6:22
Work; Date: Adam’s Soliloquy; c. February 1905
Source: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays: 1891-1910 or https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=196464
1905.2.821) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: “Why, then, it’s not civilized! Where can that place be? Be good and tell me just one peculiarity of it—then maybe I can guess.”
“Well, then, just one; it has gates of pearl.”
“Oh, go along! That’s the New Jerusalem. It isn’t fair to joke.”
Scripture: And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. -- Revelation 21:2
Work; Date: Adam’s Soliloquy; c. February 1905
Source: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays: 1891-1910 or https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=196464
1905.3.822,823) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: “What is your name, if you’ll be so good?”
“Adam.”
“Adam?”
“Yes.”
“But Adam what?”
“That is all—just Adam.”
Nothing at all but just that? Why, how curious! There’s plenty of Adams; how can they tell you from the rest?”
“Oh, that is no trouble. I’m the only one there is, there where I’m from.”
“Upon my word! Well, it beats the band! It reminds a person of the old original. That was his name, too, and he hadn’t any but that—just like you.” Then, archly, “You’ve heard of him, I suppose?”
“Oh yes! Do you know him? Have you ever seen him?”
“Seen him? Seen Adam? Thanks to goodness, no! It would scare me into fits.”
“I don’t see why.”
“You don’t?”
“No.”
“Why don’t you see why?”
“Because there is no sense in a person being scared of his kin.”
“Kin?”
“Yes. Isn’t he a distant relative of yours?”
She thought it was prodigiously funny, and said it was perfectly true, but she never would have been bright enough to think of it.
Scripture: And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit. -- 1 Corinthians 15:45
Scripture: And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. -- Genesis 3:20
Work; Date: Adam’s Soliloquy; c. February 1905
Source: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays: 1891-1910 or https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=196464
1905.4.824) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: Yes, oh, yes, I am not overlooking the ‘steady progress from age to age of the coming of the kingdom of God and righteousness.’
Scripture: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. -- Matthew 6:33
Work; Date: Letter to Joseph Twichell; March 14, 1905
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/3197/3197-h/3197-h.htm
1905.5.825) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: I wrote Eve’s Diary, she using Adam’s Diary as her (unwitting and unconscious) text.
Scripture: And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. -- Genesis 3:20
Work; Date: July 16, 1905 letter to Frederick A. Duneka
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/3197/3197-h/3197-h.htm
1905.6.826) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: Only one clergyman remembered his Christian morals and his duty to God, and stood bravely by both. Mr. Smythe is probably an outcast now, but such a man as that can endure ostracism; and such a man as that is likely to possess the treasure of a family that can endure it with him, and be proud to do it. I kiss the hem of his garment.
Scripture: And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment: For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole. But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour. -- Matthew 9:20-22
Work; Date: Christian Citizenship; September 2, 1905
Source: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays: 1891-1910
1905.7.827) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: They hunt through all biography for my match, working Atilla, Torquemada, Ghenghis Khan, Ivan the Terrible, and the rest of that crowd for all they are worth, and evilly exulting when they cannot find it. Then they examine the historical earthquakes and cyclones and blizzards and cataclysms and volcanic eruptions: verdict, none of them “in it” with me. At last they do really hit it (as they think), and they close their labors with conceding—reluctantly—that I have one match in history, but only one—the Flood. This is intemperate.
Scripture: And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth. And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth. Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch. And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits. A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it. And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die. But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons’ wives with thee. -- Genesis 6:12,13,17,18
Work; Date: King Leopold’s Soliloquy; September 28, 1905
Source: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays: 1891-1910
1905.8.828) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: It is not on account of his chivalry that I love him—no, it is not that. He told on me, but I do not blame him; it is a peculiarity of sex, I think, and he did not make his sex. Of course I would not have told on him, I would have perished first; but that is a peculiarity of sex, too, and I do not take credit for it, for I did not make my sex.
Scripture: And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. -- Genesis 3:7-12Genesis 3:7-12
Work; Date: Eve’s Diary; December, 1905
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/8525/8525-h/8525-h.htm
1905.9.829) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: Threescore years and ten!
It is the Scriptural statute of limitations. After that, you owe no active duties; for you the strenuous life is over.
Scripture: The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away. -- Psalms 90:10
Work; Date: Seventieth Birthday Speech; December 5, 1905
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/3188/3188-h/3188-h.htm#link2H_4_0105
1905.10.830) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: Henry of Huntington has been watching Godfrey and Marmion for nearly seven hundred and fifty years, now, but I couldn’t do it, I know I couldn’t. I am soft and gentle in my nature, and I should have forgiven them seventy-and-seven times, long ago. And I think God has; but this is only an opinion, and not authoritative, like Henry of Huntington’s interpretations. I could learn to interpret, but I have never tried; I get so little time.
Scripture: Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. -- Matthew 18:21,22
Work; Date: As Concerns Interpreting the Deity; 1905
Source: http://www.online-literature.com/twain/1313/
1905.11.831) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: In the same number of the Times Doctor Funk says: “Many may be as badly fooled by believing too little as by believing too much; the hard-headed skeptic Thomas was the only disciple who was cheated.” Is that the right and rational way to look at it? I will not be sure, for my memory is faulty, but it has always been my impression that Thomas was the only one who made an examination and proved a fact, while the others were accepting, or discounting, the fact on trust--like any other Consensus. If that is so, Doubting Thomas removed a doubt which must otherwise have confused and troubled the world until now. Including Doctor Funk. It seems to me that we owe that hard-headed--or sound-headed--witness something more than a slur.
Scripture: But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the Lord. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe. And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them: then came Jesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you. Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing. And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God. -- John 20:24-28
Work; Date: Dr. Loeb’s Incredible Discovery; 1905
Source: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays: 1891-1910
