Sundays with Mark Twain — (1907)
Sundays with Mark Twain #100
1907
1907.1.883) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: That settled it. Kirkham was the name; and we went out to seek for the owner of it. There was no trouble about that, for Bermuda is not large, and is like the earlier Garden of Eden, in that everybody in it knows everybody else, just as it was in the serpent’s headquarters in Adam’s time.
Scripture: And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed. ... And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. -- Genesis 2:8,21-23
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of January 9, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 2
1907.2.884) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: Henry of Huntington has been watching Godfrey and Marmion fry, nearly seven hundred and fifty years, now, but I couldn’t do it, I know I couldn’t. I am soft and gentle in my nature, and I should have forgiven them seventy and seven times, long ago. And I think God has; but this is only surmise, and not authoritative, like Henry of Huntington’s interpretations. I could learn to interpret, but I have never tried, I get so little time.
Scripture: Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. -- Matthew 18:21,22
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of January 9, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 2
1907.3.885) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: Last night, at a dinner party where I was present, Mr. Peter Dunne Dooley handed to the host several dollars, in satisfaction of a lost bet. I seemed to see an opportunity to better my condition, and I invited Dooley, apparently disinterestedly, to come to my house Friday and play billiards. He accepted, and I judge that there is going to be a deficit in the Dooley treasury as a result. In great qualities of the heart and brain, Dooley is gifted beyond all propriety. He is brilliant; he is an expert with his pen, and he easily stands at the head of all the satirists of this generation—but he is going to walk in darkness Friday afternoon. It will be a fraternal kindness to teach him that with all his light and culture, he does not know all the valuable things; and it will also be a fraternal kindness to him to complete his education for him—and I shall do this on Friday, and send him home in tht perfected condition.
Scripture: If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. -- 1 John 1:6-8
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of January 22, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 2
1907.4.886) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: Even if it were true, how would my right hand know what my left hand doeth?
Scripture: But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: -- Matthew 6:3
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of January 28, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 2
1907.5.887,888) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: We do not say to the ram and the goat “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” for we know that ineradicably embedded in their temperament—that is to say in their born nature—God has said to them “Thou shalt commit it.”
Scripture: Thou shalt not commit adultery. – Exodus 20:14
Scripture: Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. -- Matthew 5:27-32
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of February 4, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 2
1907.6.889) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: It has been said that the ways of Providence are wonderful, and past finding out, and this is true; but in a good many cases they do not seem so wonderful as are the ways of the pulpit, nor so curious, and obscure, and interesting, as are the results of its mental feats.
Scripture: O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! -- Romans 11:33
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of February 25, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 2
1907.7.890,891) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: At five o’clock I got up to fill a pipe, and I saw a policeman passing by my part of the house. The front door was standing wide open, but he probably attached no significance to that, as it is religion and tradition, here, that there are no burglars, and that a door is doing just as well when it is open as when it is closed. He gave the open door no attention, but passed by, like the Gentile, on the other side--if it was the Gentile; I think it was the Gentile; anyway I know it was either the Gentile or the Shunammite, or the good Samaritan; I am rusty in these things, but it is no matter; he passed by not on the other side, but on our side.
Scripture: And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him, And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee. Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves? -- Luke 10:30-36
Scripture: And it fell on a day, that Elisha passed to Shunem, where was a great woman; and she constrained him to eat bread. And so it was, that as oft as he passed by, he turned in thither to eat bread. And she said unto her husband, Behold now, I perceive that this is an holy man of God, which passeth by us continually. Let us make a little chamber, I pray thee, on the wall; and let us set for him there a bed, and a table, and a stool, and a candlestick: and it shall be, when he cometh to us, that he shall turn in thither. And it fell on a day, that he came thither, and he turned into the chamber, and lay there. And he said to Gehazi his servant, Call this Shunammite. And when he had called her, she stood before him. And he said unto him, Say now unto her, Behold, thou hast been careful for us with all this care; what is to be done for thee? wouldest thou be spoken for to the king, or to the captain of the host? And she answered, I dwell among mine own people. And he said, What then is to be done for her? And Gehazi answered, Verily she hath no child, and her husband is old. And he said, Call her. And when he had called her, she stood in the door. And he said, About this season, according to the time of life, thou shalt embrace a son. And she said, Nay, my lord, thou man of God, do not lie unto thine handmaid. And the woman conceived, and bare a son at that season that Elisha had said unto her, according to the time of life. -- 2 Kings 4:8-17
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of May 24, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 3
1907.8.892) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: Mr. Roosevelt is immeasurably indiscreet. He accepts as an established fact that the ravens fed Elijah; it is then bad policy in him to question the surgical ability of Mr. Long’s bird. I accept the raven’s work, and admire it. I know the raven; I know him well; I know he has no disposition to share his food, inferior and overdue as it is, with prophets or presidents, or any one else--yet I feel that it would not be right nor judicious in me to question the validity of the hospitalities of those ravens while trying to market natural-history marvels of my own which are of a similar magnitude.
Scripture: And it shall be, that thou shalt drink of the brook; and I have commanded the ravens to feed thee there. So he went and did according unto the word of the LORD: for he went and dwelt by the brook Cherith, that is before Jordan. And the ravens brought him bread and flesh in the morning, and bread and flesh in the evening; and he drank of the brook. -- 1 Kings 17:4-6
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of May 30, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 3
1907.9.893) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: By this time I had grown so used to the obliterated ages and their best known people that if I had met Adam I should not have been either surprised or embarrassed; and if he had come in a racing automobile and a cloud of dust, with nothing on but his fig-leaf, it would have seemed to me all right and harmonious.
Scripture: And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. -- Genesis 3:7
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of May 30, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 3
1907.10.894) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: Reid was diplomatically pleasant and friendly; I also was diplomatically pleasant and friendly, and it is quite likely that we shall remain in that condition until Satan wants one of us and the New Jerusalem the other; the final result is not in our hands, but each of us thinks he knows how it will be.
Scripture: And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. -- Revelation 21:2
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of August 28, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 3
1907.11.895) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: Talk about Sir Mortimar Durand’s sufferings for a single night--I have suffered ever since because I saved that gentleman from breaking the Sabbath--saved him. I took his place, but I lost my train, and it was I who broke the Sabbath. Up to that time I never had broken the Sabbath in my life, and from that day to this I never have kept it.
Scripture: Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: -- Exodus 20:8-10
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of August 29, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 3
1907.12.896) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: If I had this astonishing fact at second-hand I could not have believed it, and would not have believed it, even if I had gotten it from the twelve apostles in writing, with every signature vouched for by a notary public. I should have said that to an educated, cultured, highly intellectual man who believes he has held the Holy Grail in his hand, complete and unquestioning belief in Münchhausen’s, and in all other conceivable extravagances, must come easy.
Scripture: Now the names of the twelve apostles are these; The first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; Philip, and Bartholomew; Thomas, and Matthew the publican; James the son of Alphaeus, and Lebbaeus, whose surname was Thaddaeus; Simon the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed him. -- Matthew 10:2-4
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of September 6, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 3
1907.13.897) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: I will explain. The Moral Law is above the Constitution of the United States, and says “thou shalt not steal.” That is final. From that verdict there is no appeal. The Constitution—which is a thief and the pal of thieves—forbids perpetual copyright. Under protection of this power, and by warrant of it, the United States Government becomes a thief in its turn, and steals an author’s book in the 42nd year of its age and gives it to the publishing trade.
Scripture: Thou shalt not steal. -- Exodus 20:15
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of October 25, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 3
1907.14.898) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: What is it? What is there to laugh about? I think it’s shameful! What is Nip? Who is Nip? and why has the return of this prodigal thrown the whole family into such indecent hysterics of joy and gratitude?
Scripture: And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. -- Luke 15:17-20 [account of the “prodigal son”]
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of November 1, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 3
1907.15.899) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: ...the assertion, to wit, that this is a Christian country. Why, Carnegie, so is hell.. Those clergymen know that inasmuch as ‘Strait is the way and narrow is the gate, and few—few--are they that enter in thereat’ has had the natural effect of making hell the only really prominent Christian community in any of the worlds; but we don’t brag of this, and certainly it is not proper to brag and boast that America is a Christian country when we all know that certainly five-sixths of our population could not enter in at the narrow gate.
Scripture: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. -- Matthew 7:14
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of December 2, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 3
1907.16.900) Quote, Reference, or Allusion: It’s a rotten alphabet! O Carnegie, O prisoner at the bar, reform, reform! There’s never been a noble, upright, right-feeling prophet in this world, from David and Goliath down to Sodom and Gomorrah who wouldn’t censure you for what you’ve done!
Scripture: And there went out a champion out of the camp of the Philistines, named Goliath, of Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span. ... And David said to Saul, Let no man’s heart fail because of him; thy servant will go and fight with this Philistine. -- 1 Samuel 17:4,32
Work; Date: Autobiographical Dictation of December 10, 1907
Source: Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 3
