Taterskin & The Eco Defenders: Book 2, Chapter 25
Book 2 ("Tell It to Future Generations"), Chapter 25 of 56
CHAPTER 25
It seemed as if all the blood had drained out of the scientists’ faces. They had done similar things to animals in their vicious experiments. In this case, the blood was not removed from their bodies, though, it simply traveled elsewhere within their bodies. I don’t know where it went; maybe to their feet; maybe to their rear ends. Who knows?
Finally, one of them found his tongue (so to speak) and asked where the Lion and the Tiger and the Cheetah had come from. I started to say that they had come from the carriage house on Farmington Avenue, but then I realized that was not what they meant, and said, “Africa and India; or, to be more specific, Tanzania, The Congo, and northern India.”
We were a little surprised that the rest of our friends had come, but were glad that they did, now that they were there.
Albert interpreted to the scientists what I had said.
“We want to talk to you only,” a scientist said, looking at Albert. “Having animals talk to us is ... demeaning.”
“That’s exactly what our aim is,” Alexis said.
“To demean us?”
“No — for you to be de-meaned. To no longer be mean. To remove the meanness from your souls so that you will leave us alone and let us live our lives, free from solitary confinement and torture.”
The scientists still didn’t “get it.” They thought what they were doing was fine, even beneficial and praiseworthy somehow.
Albert gave them one last chance to decide for themselves to give up their demented practice: “Let me ask you this,” he said, looking each of them, in turn, in the eyes. “Think about the experiments (as you call them) that you subject these animals to. Would you recruit your family members — your wives, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters — to take part in these? To be subjects of them, I mean?”
“Maybe my mother-in-law,” one of them said.
Albert, not having a mother-in-law, saw no humor in that flippant response.
“All right, then,” he went on. “Would you submit to these experiments yourselves — in the interest of science and the expansion of knowledge — for the good of humanity?”
One of the men surreptitiously peered over at one of his cohorts, with a sly grin on his face. I got the impression that he would be completely fine with conducting some experiments on him.
Now that ‘all the gang was here,’ Albert called the rest of them forth: “Come on out and introduce yourselves, everyone!”
From around the corner came the Elephants, followed in turn by Ocero the Rhino, Jowls the Hippo, Drako, Rinky, Falcona, and — last but not least (certainly not in my estimation) — Rovette and our pups. Then Terri flapped up, and ostentatiously rustled her pinions after alighting on the ground in front of the scientists, staring at them as if considering some odd specimen under a glass jar or microscope and finding them wanting in some way.
Now all of the currently active Eco Defenders were present and accounted for, as the Cats had already made their presence known. The whitecoats appeared decidedly uneasy and nervous as they confronted us at our full strength.
Their countenance didn’t relax any when Albert put another question to them: “Shall we determine exactly which experiments you have been conducting — by interviewing those you have caged up and confined in elaborate Dr. Frankenstein-type contraptions — and then have these animals demonstrate them to us, using you as the subjects of the experiments?”
We all stared at the scientists, awaiting a response. By this time, all of the animals who had been captive inside the torture chamber had been released from their bonds and were outside with us, their liberators. The participants in the Million Paw March, the former prisoners awaiting their fate in the torture chamber and we, the Eco Defenders, were all glaring at the superficially respectable scientists.
As is probably not surprising, the former captors began displaying signs of extreme trepidation at this point. One of them stammered, “But we’re humans — homo sapiens — homo erectus! You can’t do that — it would be a crime!”
Another added, “It would be cruel and inhumane!”
We let their words sink in, to simmer and bubble.
“And when they are conducted on animals — what are they then?” Albert asked.
“But they are merely dumb beasts! And there’s plenty of them! Nobody will miss them!” one of them pleaded.
“Pay attention!” Alexis said. “We have already proved to you that we are not ‘dumb beasts’; for scientists — that is, for doctors who supposedly carefully observe and draw logical conclusions from the things observed — you seem to be somewhat dense. Let me ask you this,” she continued.
The scientists still appeared to be aggravated by having to deal with an animal in the ongoing negotiations rather than solely with Albert, but they realized their position didn’t allow for a lot of complaining on their part. The Lion, Tiger, and Cheetah were only a leap away from them; and the Elephants could easily caress them with their toes. The Rhino could gore them, and probably without compunction. The Gorilla could tear their limbs off without batting an eyelash. The Hippo could simply flop over on top of them, or take a crunching bite out of their leg with his massive chompers.
Somehow the Pterodactyl and the Hyena seemed to unnerve them the most, though — the Hyena because she seemed high-strung and unpredictable (after all, she kept staring at them and chuckling, while licking her lips), and the Pterodactyl for its sheer size, proximity, and generally macabre appearance. They thought she exuded an air of impending mayhem.
“And not only are we not dumb beasts, we would be missed — by our families and friends,” Alexis went on. “But the big question that you need to ask yourself is — and we can answer it for you if you are unable to: Are animals sentient beings? Can we feel pain? Do we experience fear? Does it cause us distress to see and hear our family members and friends tortured? Are we not souls, as you are?”
The unsympathetic scientists were too cowed to even say anything in reply to Alexis. They had never thought too deeply, if at all, about those questions before. They were curious about the results of their experiments — fascinated, even — and they were paid to conduct them. So they never gave much thought to the ethics of what they were doing — whether it was right or wrong, or truly of value.
To be precise, the doctors weren’t literally cowed. It would be more accurate to say that they were Lioned and Tigered, Hyenaed and Pterodactyled, etc. But ‘cowed’ is the old expression, so I guess you get the point, even though Cows are not particularly scary creatures.
Albert turned around to make sure the news media was present. He wanted a reporter and a photographer to be on hand so that the whole event would be recorded, printed, re-printed, and spread throughout the land and all over the world so as to put vivisectionists (torture chamber operators, animal terrorists) everywhere on notice.
Members of the media were indeed present, having been contacted by Alexis, who had flown onto a window sill of the Hartford Courant the day before and tipped off a reporter there.
“You have two choices,” Albert said. “Either submit to the same experiments one by one, allowing your two colleagues to take notes, make measurements, interview you about how you’re feeling during and after the experiments (assuming you survive them) OR immediately cease and desist from conducting all such experiments on animals. And vow to never conduct them again.”
One of the scientists piped up right away and said, “I volunteer to conduct experiments on those two,” pointing at his colleagues. “And that will be enough. There will be no need for further experiments. Besides, I need to be around to address the various scientific societies regarding how the experiments turned out.”
The other two glared at him. From that point on, a certain coolness existed between the two would-be experimentees and the one who had volunteered to be the experimenter.
The two who had been volunteered as test subjects then said, in unison, “We vow and solemnly promise to never perform or conduct another experiment on any animal as long as we both shall live, so help us Hannah!”
The third one, who had been lip-smackingly eager (or at least willing) to use his former colleagues as ‘Guinea Pigs’ now agreed to the same restrictions on his livelihood, too.
As was our goal, the news (and photos) of this grand event was spread not only nationwide, but worldwide. Animals everywhere were constantly vigilant for any would-be experimenter/torturer, and only rarely did anybody need to be given a stern rebuke and serious warning to prevent them from revivifying vivisection.
In other places where such experiments were taking place, the animals were instructed to follow the example we had set, using it as a pattern to foment change. This was necessary since the financial backers of such operations would have otherwise never closed down their operations willingly simply because it was the right thing to do. After all, profit was involved. But, after more Million Paw Marches around the country and the world, all the speculators in these dens of iniquity were ultimately utterly convinced of the wisdom of not throwing good money after bad, and shuttered them.
When addressing the 250,000-strong members of the Million Paw March, Albert said (after strongly encouraging them to continue this good work at all torture chambers): “Rescue an animal from vivisection, and you save him; but teach an animal how to stop the practice of vivisection, and you save all the animals. So go forth, teaching by example, and you will be able to be proud of the good work you will accomplish.”
“Does this mean we are Eco Defenders now?” one of the Squirrels asked.
“Do you want to be an Eco Defender?” Albert countered.
“Yes!” a great chorus of voices shouted in response.
“Have you done something to support the Eco Defenders?” Albert next queried. “I’ll answer that for you: Yes, you have. Therefore, you are Eco Defenders.”
As a sort of tribute to him for his writings against vivisection and vivisectionists, Albert sent a basket with three rescued kittens in it (named Blatherskite, Buffalo Bill, and Sourmash) to Mark Twain in New York via Twain’s friend and former Hartford neighbor Joe Twichell. Twichell carried them on the train to Boston, handing them over to their mutual friend William Dean Howells there. Howells delivered them personally to Twain the next day.
Before leaving Hartford, Albert left behind some shares of stock in a phone company that he had just purchased from a Scottish man named Bell — in fact, a whole hatful for a measly few dollars! He left the stocks in the carriage house, knowing that the investment would pay off handsomely — more than enough to cover the cost of the hay and oats and such that we had eaten.
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