CHAPTER 44
As they were the ones most directly affected by it, Rory the Lion, Tubthumper & Chumbawumba the Elephants, Ocero Puddleby the Hippo, and Ooga the Gorilla called an ‘All Paws on Deck’ meeting — which all of us animals understood to be an all-inclusive meeting (it was not meant to literally be attended only by those animals with paws; it was merely a figure of speech — those with feet instead of paws, such as humans, Birds, and so forth were also implicitly invited to attend).
Rory took his place on a rocky outcropping at the edge of the valley and proclaimed to the vast crowd assembled:
“Friends, humans, animals, lend me your ears. A great danger will persist and only get worse if we don’t do something about it right now.”
“What is it, friend Lion?” I asked, knowing what was coming, but wanting Rory to cut to the chase, so we could get to it, finish the job, and get back home again. I was anxious to settle down and start a family with Rovette in 2525 Zenia.
“I’m talking about poaching,” Rory answered. “The heartless hunting of animals to satisfy greed or feed an ego is the problem of which I speak. Humans are poaching animals, especially Elephants for their tusks; Rhinos for their horns; Gorillas for their hide and meat, heads, hands, and feet; and Lions, too, for no other reason than so that these Nimrods can mount our heads on the walls of their man caves as a souvenir, or trophy. And it will only get worse, if we don’t put a stop to it now!”
“Naturally,” Ocero Puddleby said, now addressing the crowd, “Rory, Tubthumper, Chumbawumba, Ooga and I have the most ‘skin in this game,’ so to speak, but we would certainly appreciate the help of all of you, to present a united front against this evil and potentially genocidal practice.”
“We are with you,” Stripes said. “The 10 quintillion animals on earth will back you up and support you.”
“Ten quintillion is actually a fairly good estimate,” said Alexis. “It is calculated that for each human there are a billion animals — not counting Insects, which together are as numerous as the combined numbers of Mammals, Reptiles, Birds, and Fish. Thus we far outnumber humans, and when we join together in a common cause, there’s nothing humans will be able to do to stop us.”
“That’s right,” said Tubthumper. “When the crowd of creatures, the mass of animaldom — with some human assistance — accomplish this great work of putting a permanent end to poaching, we will no longer be mocked by those who dismiss us with a sneer in their voice and smiles of derision.
“Terrible storms have passed over us. We will no longer forgive and forget, or throw up our paws in resigned surrender. We will growl in warning and — if necessary — follow through on those threats by spattering a few red drops for history to remember us by.
“We will have arrived then, never more to be taken for granted. None will call us ‘dumb brute beats’ ever again.”
Tubthumper’s oration was hailed by all. A mighty roar of approbation for it echoed through the canyon. It was considered the best speech any of them had ever heard. It has been remembered as “The Rift Valley Address.”
So everyone present was in harmony: All the animals, and the three men, agreed on the course of action that had to be taken in order to prevent poaching of Elephants, Rhinos, Gorillas, Lions — or of any animals killed for sport, for money, for ego, or to appease misguided ideas on medicinal curatives.
Even Warble, who at one time had wanted to lead hunting safaris and at that juncture couldn’t have cared less about animals — thinking they were useless and taking up valuable space and oxygen — was enthusiastic about being part of ‘Operation Poachfree.’ Seldom in history has a man’s character changed so completely, and so quickly, as had Warble’s.
Now it was time to plan, and to practice. Immediately thereafter we would proceed with the Anti-Poaching initiative.
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