Taterskin & The Eco Defenders: Book 2, Chapter 19
Book 2 ("Tell It to Future Generations"), Chapter 19 of 56
CHAPTER 19
Flying up to the Indians and landing atop their tallest tipi, Alexis began to speak to them in Lakota, a language she had picked up somewhere along the line. She explained who she was and who we, the Eco Defenders, were. The Indians were not nearly as surprised at Alexis’ ability to speak to them in their own language as most people usually had been when they heard her speak, but they were certainly enthused about our past actions and current plans.
Now that the Indians knew she was a friend and not a bearer of bad tidings, Alexis called over the Charismatic Megafauna (Tubthumper, Chumbawumba, Ocero, Jowls, Ooga, Rory, Jubatus, and Stripes — as well as Marmalade) and introduced them, explaining in greater detail what was up or about to go down.
Once our friends had formed a protective barrier around the Indians, Alexis returned to us and perched on Albert’s right shoulder, her usual spot.
The next phase of our operation fell to her and Albert and Ravelle and me. The soldiers had not yet come out of their cabins. They were apparently unaware of our presence. To get them to come outside and talk with us, Albert called Ooga up from the Indian encampment and had him throw a few rocks at the cabins to ‘wake those guys up.’ That was when we discovered that Ooga was an ambidextrous ape, as he threw with both arms, windmilling his arms and releasing barrage after barrage of fist-sized stones, being re-supplied by Albert on his left and Ravelle on his right (while one of Ooga’s arms was moving forward, the other was moving backward, like two synchronized pistons).
Alexis swiveled her head around and cried out, “Big beautiful flying Lizard and wonderfully fast Peregrine Falcon, come forth and raise havoc!”
The heavy rocks banging against the wooden barracks raised such a ruckus that Terri and Falcona’s contribution to the invitation to the soldiers to come outside was probably unnecessary: Terri had flown onto the roof of the barracks and, while warily keeping an eye out for wayward stones hurtling through the air, she pushed uprooted bushes that Falcona brought her into the chimneys with her beak and feet to smoke the inhabitants out.
As we intended, the soldiers soon emerged from their accommodations in a feargry (fearful and angry) state of mind. Each of them was bearing a rifle, and most of them also wore a pistol or even a brace of pistols in holsters on their belts.
Albert and Ravelle held up their hands toward them in a gesture that was meant to convey the thought: ‘Calm down, we are unarmed and are not attacking you — we only want to talk.’
We had positioned ourselves in such a way that the soldiers would see us first and not see the Indians and the rest of our contingent.
“Hello,” Albert said, and the four of us (Ooga had rejoined the Megafauna as soon as the soldiers had begun spilling out of their quarters) slowly approached. The Captain and his adjutant pushed their way to the front of the rest of the soldiers and marched up to us. The leader was red of face and commanding of bearing.
Both sets of delegates came to a standstill when we got within about three or four feet of each other, halfway between our original spot and the soldiers’ barracks. The two soldiers eyed us silently, looking from Albert to Ravelle to Alexis to me.
“What have we here?” the Captain finally said. “A lunatic, a mangy mutt, some dopey Bird, and ...” I won’t repeat what he said about Ravelle. It was thoroughly offensive and equally as inaccurate as how he had described the rest of us. His insults were wildly wrong, as Albert was sound of mind, I did not have the mange, Alexis was anything but dopey, and Ravelle was a free man and as deserving of respect as anybody.
Before Albert could speak, Alexis did: “There’s no need for that kind of claptrap. We can already tell you’re a scoundrel and a racist. Now let’s see if you have enough sense to pound sand.”
“You should tell your Bird to mind his manners and respect his superiors!” the Captain advised Albert. “Or did you teach him to say that?”
As that question didn’t deserve an answer, Albert simply stared at him. I followed Albert’s lead. We all did. The Captain’s adjutant finally asked, “Who are you, and why are you here?”
They had no reason or right to know our names, so we ignored the first part of the question. Albert deferred to Alexis by gesturing toward her and saying, “She can tell you.”
And she did. Mincing no words, Alexis told the Captain they were to abandon the field and not molest the Indians in any way. “Fight them no more forever,” is the way she put it.
Predictably, the Captain replied that we had no authority over them, and they would do whatever they wanted to do or had been ordered to do.
Albert motioned for those stationed on our flanks to now come forward. The soldiers were visibly startled to see the CM (Charismatic Megafauna) as well as a Hyena, a Bearded Dragon, and a Duck-billed Platypus arrive in their midst. Most of them had never seen these types of animals before. Among other things, they called Yukyuk a haywire horse, Drako a demon lizard, and Rinky a monstrosity.
“I told you once already, there’s no need for insults here,” Alexis said. She didn’t bother educating the soldiers on what type of creatures her friends were, though, considering it would be like ‘casting pearls before swine’ (not that she had anything against Pigs).
“If you find my friends here intimidating, what do you think of this?” she asked, and called out, “Queen of the Skies, O beautiful flying Lizard, come forth!”
And she did. Terri swooped down, fluttering her feathers grandly and squawking at the top of her lungs. The men took a step back; some even covered their faces with their arms, expecting to be gashed and slashed with Terri’s frightful claws.
She landed between Albert and Ravelle, shook her pinions, and cleared her throat. She squawked and screeched and gestured towards the soldiers.
“She’s telling you she’s the one who turned your cabins into smokehouses.”
The soldiers turned around and saw smoke billowing and boiling out of the windows and from underneath the doors.
“We’ll get you for that!” the Captain said, shaking his fist at the perpetrator.
“I doubt that,” Albert said.
“What do you mean? We are well-trained, well-armed fighting men! What makes you think we cannot wipe you out without blinking an eye or breaking a sweat?”
At that, a streak flashed through the sky and plucked the Captain’s hat off his head. Falcona had timed her dive perfectly. She soared upwards, made a wide turn, and then dove down again, reaching her top speed of 240 mph. She pulled up at the last instant, shot over towards Tubthumper, and dropped the hat on the Elephant’s head.
“Observe the strength and skill of our team,” Albert commented. “Our intent is to persuade you to leave peaceably — to sagely decide on a hasty retreat. But if you are unwilling to leave of your own accord ...”
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