We should not make sport of those who have phobias which may seem bizarre to us. After all, those who suffer from agoraphobia, cherophobia, or ablutophobia, to take three examples, did not choose to be burdened with an outsized and debilitating trepidation concerning those things. A person may even, through no fault of their own, suffer from phobophobia, a fear of phobias themselves (a thing FDR presciently albeit indirectly warned against).
All of us probably fear something. But the difference between a simple fear and a phobia is a matter of degree. A phobia is described as an excessive and irrational fear that interferes with your daily life.
Here are 20 phobias (taken, in part, from here) along with some observations:
Ablutophobia (Fear of bathing)
The word for this type of fear makes sense, as the word “ablutions” is sometimes used in a comic fashion by characters striving after eloquence when referring to someone washing up. In my mind’s ear, I can hear W.C. Fields using the word.
Perhaps the criticism made by squares in the 1960s against the youth of the day (“dirty hippies”) was misplaced; it may be that the great unwashed were simply suffering from Ablutophobia and couldn’t help themselves.
Agoraphobia: (Fear of leaving one’s own home, or of being in places from which escape is difficult)
Is anybody else thinking about Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys?
This is probably one of those things that most people fear to some extent, especially the last part of the definition, which seems like it’s describing claustrophobia—for who enjoys being shut up in a small place?
Arachibutyrophobia (Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth)
Maybe this is why Europeans think Americans are crazy for eating peanut butter. I admit that many of my fellow Americans are crazy in various ways (including the one I, not having Eisoptrophobia, espy in the mirror), but I think the Old World gets this wrong. They are the insane ones here. I know nobody with this ailment.
Chaetophobia (Fear of hair)
Aha! This is a phobia the hippies could have accused the older generation of exhibiting.
Cherophobia (Fear of being happy)
This would seem like a rather pleasurable phobia to endure, because you could easily avoid doing things that make you happy and thus never have to face your fears. But then, if you succeeded in keeping your phobia at bay, you would be happy, and so perhaps there’s no way to escape it after all.
Decidophobia (Fear of making decisions)
I can’t determine what to say about this. Or, to be more truthful, I cannot choose between multiple options of what to write. Writer’s cramp, I guess.
Eisoptrophobia (Fear of mirrors)
I’ve seen cats (literal cats, that is: felines) that suffer from this—when they see themselves in a mirror, their hair porcupines out and they hiss like a steam locomotive. As for people with this condition, listen to Merle Haggard’s song about it here.
Ephebiphobia (Fear of adolescents)
This is another phobia some old fogies have.
Ergophobia (Fear of work)
Here we’ve been denigrating tramps and bums and hobos, but perhaps they are simply sadly suffering from this pitiable disease.
Globophobia (Fear of balloons)
Is it the popping sound, or is it the connection with clowns that invokes this breed of panic? Bonus phobia: the fear of clowns is called Coulrophobia.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (Fear of long words)
Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Who wouldn’t be afraid of this word—at least, trying to remember or pronounce it?
Lepidopterophobia (Fear of butterflies or moths)
This fear actually both makes sense and doesn’t. It does, because butterflies are violent (after all, how often are they missing bits of their wings? and who is it that bites those pieces off but butterflies?); OTOH, this phobia doesn’t make sense, because humans are about a gazillion times bigger and heavier than flutterbys.
Nomophobia (Fear of being without your mobile phone)
This is obviously a modern-day fear. But what is the history of the neologism? Did someone say, “I’m afraid if I lose my phone, I won’t have it no mo”?
Omphalophobia (Fear of belly buttons)
It was probably impossible for Adam and Eve to suffer from this particular ailment.
Optophobia (Fear of opening one’s eyes)
Everyone but me suffers from this (in a figurative sense, that is). You feel the same way, I’m sure.
Plutophobia (Fear of money)
Yet another affliction that the beatniks and hippies may have picked up in their travels—unbeknownst to their parents and the establishment in general, who just chalked it up to laziness.
Pogonophobia (Fear of beards)
So that’s why Bearded Dragons are officially/Latinally called Pogonas.
And the fuddy-duddys of decades gone by were obviously in the sway of this phobia. It was probably planned and promoted by the Gillettes and Shicks of the world.
Actually, scraping one’s face with a razor became de rigeur in the early part of the 20th Century due to soldiers in “The Great War” (renamed World War 1 after World War 2 was waged) needing to be clean-shaven to get a good fit on their gas masks. Germans were using mustard gas and Americans countered that with catsup gas.
Scopophobia (Fear of being stared at)
You lookin’ at me?!?
Vestiphobia (Fear of clothing)
Colonists in nudist collectives may simply be victims of this heartbreaking illness, rather than being exhibitionists and/or voyeuers or whatever. In German, members of these conclaves are simply referred to as “friends of a textile-free lifestyle.”
Xanthophobia (Fear of the color yellow)
Imagine the horror of hearing the song “Tie A Yellow Ribbon ‘Round the Old Oak Tree.” OK, maybe that’s a bad example. Picture the torture of watching “Ol’ Yeller” or accidentally catching a glimpse of a Banana Cream Pie!
I wish there was a word describing an extreme fear of the reaper. Maybe McCormickphobia?
If that doesn’t make you think of this, I’m afraid you are culturally handicapped. What is the word for that type of fear, I wonder?