Serialization of "Quedly Dake and His Quest to Conquer the Globe" — Chapter 11 of 25
From Book 3 of the Trilogy “Taterskin & The Eco Defenders”
“Well, I’d say this would be a good time to intervene,” Stripes said.
Remarkably, though, Albert remained unconvinced. “I admit that I’m growing more and suspicious of Dake, but let’s still wait and see what he’s going to do with his consolidated power,” he said in reply to the Bengal Tiger.
“You must be getting soft, Albert,” I said. “I don’t remember you being this patient in the past.”
“Soft in the head, I would say,” Terri said. She always seemed to make explicit what the rest of us were only thinking.
“Ridicule won’t help or get you anywhere, Terri” her fiend Drako said. “Besides, what’s the harm in waiting? When Albert is good and ready, we can travel back in time in the Androcles and nip Dake in the butt whenever we consider the best time to do so is.”
“It’s bud, not butt, Bud,” Falcona told Terri.
“Maybe so, but I’d still like to see Dake get nipped in the butt by those of us with sharp teeth. And don’t call me Bud—remember, I’m a girl.”
“If you say so,” Yukyuk said, chuckling. “Hey, maybe Falcona called you ‘Bud’ because she thinks you’re wiser. Get it? Bud wiser?”
“No,” Terri said. “I don’t get it; I don’t know what you’re yammering about.”
“What?!?” Yukyuk replied, shocked out of the few wits she had. “Are you trying to tell me that you have never heard of Budweiser— Bud wiser?!? It’s the so-called beer that’s apparently brewed with sugar, Tide, and lizard spit as its main ingredients.”
“Sounds pretty good,” said Terri and Drako in unison. “But, as far as beer goes,” Terri added, “It would never pass the Reinheitsgebot, for what it’s worth, with those delectable ingredients.”
“Enough of this nonsense!” Albert said, finally losing his patience. No more puns, and I mean it!”
“Who’s going to stop me, when funny I deem it?” Yukyuk demanded.
“I am. You need a provisional license to pun around here. If you keep it up, I’ll kick you out for PWAL (Punning Without A License).”
“That’s a bit heavy-handed,” Chapawee opined, almost to herself (but those of us with excellent ears heard her say it).
Albert was adamantine about it, though, saying, “My workshop, my rules. Anyway, back to the task at hand: OmniMagister, who at first resisted Dake’s plans, and how did he ultimately achieve his goals, anyway, as you say he did?”
Most countries resisted Dake’s plans at first. In fact, all of them did at the very beginning. But Dake flattered, bribed and, where necessary, threatened the U.N. Ambassadors of the various member countries, especially those who had veto power (something he later rescinded, giving himself the only power to enact or veto international laws). This is how he got the majority to back him as Emperor of the World.Dake knew he also had to have the masses of “everyday” people behind him, too—or at least not actively, violently revolting against him—so he promised “the teeming sweating masses,” as he called them, Peace and Security, a full dinner pail, a chicken in every pot, and even that all their wildest dreams would come true“OmniMagister, who were the holdouts—those that never backed down from Dake’s threats, that is?” Rory wanted to know.
Finland, Jordan, Morocco, Nepal, New Zealand, Peru, Portugal, Scotland, Switzerland, the Yucatan Peninsula, Borneo, and UkraineSo Europe, Africa, the Americas, and Indonesia were all represented. But who could have guessed who, in particular, the holdouts would be? Nobody. Why Finland, but not Sweden? Why New Zealand, but not Australia? Why Portugal, but not Spain? Why Ukraine but not Moldova? We couldn’t deduce a pattern or discern a connection between the Wafflers and the Holdouts, as we called the two groups who either sided for Dake (whom we called Wafflers, as they initially rebuffed his plan), or those who sided against Dake (Holdouts).
“OmniMagister, you said that initially all the countries opposed Dake’s delusions of grandeur. What made the majority of them buckle under after all?” Tubthumper asked.
As mentioned earlier (I knew that humans tend to have short attention spans, but I didn’t know that animals, and most surprisingly Elephants, sometimes do, too), Dake threatened the children of the ambassadors with terrible consequences, things horrific to hear or even contemplate. The ‘holdout nations,’ as you call them, were also very concerned—quite fearful at times, even—but they felt the weight of the world was on their shoulders, and that history (and their own children and grandchildren) would judge them harshly if they didn’t stand up to this bully who had himself crowned the Emperor of the World.“So, OmniMagister, what happened to those who remained independent and didn’t bend the knee to Dake?” Stripes asked.
Dake gave them one last chance to change their mind, and when they would not alter their course or attitude, Dake—under the auspices of the U.N. and himself as the leader of the world—, invaded, pillaged, and then nuked all of those countries
The previous chapter can be found here.
The next chapter can be found here.
Book 1 of Taterskin & The Eco Defenders, “Wonders Never Cease,” can be found here.
Book 2 of Taterskin & The Eco Defenders, “Tell It To Future Generations,” can be found here.
Book 3 of Taterskin & The Eco Defenders, “Quedly Dake and His Quest to Conquer the Globe,” can be found here.
